16 September 2007

That "just got off the building site" look

A "product", according to the dictionary, is "a thing produced by labour". A pretty all-encompassing noun you'd think, but one that has recently been highjacked by vacuous marketeers to mean exclusively 'personal grooming materials'. Here at Hofflimits we have little time for the flim and flam of head-boiling hair treatments that strive to convince you they are as desirable and useful as a spare kidney.

Nevertheless there are occasions when I am forced to look for some tub of snake oil that will keep my unruly hair under control. So yesterday found me trawling the vanity aisles of my local Tesco. And I was truly baffled by the type of 'product' being sold, and wondered whether I hadn't, in fact, walked into B&Q by mistake.

The L'Oreal Studio Line series used to win my business for its "styling Creme" product - a bit pretentious, but you could work out what it did - until they discontinued it. By contrast the replacement is something called "Mouldable Fibre Putty", which has me wondering which surface I should be applying it to. Further down the shelf, they were offering me "Radical Fixing booster gel technology" in a tube of something called "glue gel". The final option was something called "Architect Wax", which I thought might be a depilatory treatment for a narrow group of professionals.

Given the choices, maybe I should start hoping for middle-aged baldness to strike. At least I wouldn't need to arrange planning permission every time I stepped out of the shower.


Crystal said...

Dear Hofflimits,

I am in agreement with you on the number of products on the market and the ludicrous names they're given (so Mr Manufactuer, are you telling me that you're going to sell more pots of gel if you give it a fancy name? Gel is gel.)

However, what I must say is that your entry sounds as though you - and by that I mean men - find it mind-boggling that you should have to choose between 3 (3!) hair styling products. You should spare a thought for us females. We have to contend with hair straightning gel/spray, non frizz, more volume, less curls, more shine, extra gloss....need I go on. And that just covers our barnets. What about facial creams?

You men have it easy. That is all I have to say on the matter.

Hoffy said...

Incidentally, Crystal, the product I decided on in the end was something called "Mud styler", which probably reflects the fact that I have more interest in gardening than looking trendy these days.