A tale of two Davids

Noting the candidate list at the upcoming Haltemprice and Howden by-election, I have suddenly realised why the Labour Party is not fielding a candidate against the incumbent David Davis. It's one thing to finish behind the BNP, as the Labour Party did in this week's Henley by-election. But at Haltemprice-Howden, the government would face an even greater fear: the risk of finishing behind the Other David - David Icke.

With this in mind I thought I'd check out the website of our favourite conspiracy theorist for fresh news of his run for parliament. Disappointingly, there is little comment on Mr Icke's website about his latest assault upon our intelligence, though I noted with interest all his books are available to buy online - and web-based applications to join his organisation are similarly welcome.

Given the extraordinary nature of Mr Icke's claims (see previous Hofflimits entry here) of multiple conspiracies on an eye-popping scale, you would have thought he'd be rather suspicious of the World Wide Web: a global network of computers, controlled by large corporations and governments. But there is not the slightest whiff of talk of Lizard men, the "Illuminati" or international banking being linked to this all-encompassing net. Surely he is missing a trick here?

Or could it be he has already taken a stand against the Internet but his views are somehow being suppressed by an electronic information conspiracy from which even the turquoise son of God cannot escape? That David Icke has become part of the conspiracy? I'd like to see someone on the doorsteps of Haltemprice try that one out on him, when he comes knocking for their votes.