Waterworld

The subject of drinking water filtration for domestic consumption is not something that tends to take up a lot of my day. Although I have noted the insufferably smug advertising - models acting the part of ecstatic citizens who succeed thanks to the purity of their water - I have avoided investing in a water filter jug for the fridge. This is for the same reason that I haven't covered my car with foam sponge for extra protection in the event of a traffic accident.

But the other day in Tesco my attention was drawn to the market-leading brand in this field (or should that be pool?), when I spotted a box of water filter cartridges called The BRITA Classic. Suddenly a window was opened in my mind - for all these years I had assumed these products merely claimed to purify an already 99.9% pure product. Now, it seemed to offer something of a choice to match each customer's "lifestyle", and sent my mind racing with the commercial possibilities. The existence of a Classic range implied to me a whole world of different purifications, each to suit your mood: why not try water With A Hint Of Mint? Maybe Strawberry or Chocolate for the kids? And just for Grandma: The BRITA Empire - Water with a hint of gin and quinine, to bring those memories of Nagpur flooding back.

Imagine my disappointment when I visited BRITA's website to discover The Classic exists only to stand apart from its sister product: The BRITA Maxtra, which has 20% limescale reduction. This presumably is because users of The Classic like that little extra taste of limescale in their water - Water With A Hint Of Lime, perhaps?

I was pleased to note their website also published the recipe for a cup of tea, which visitors no doubt find extremely helpful.